adam

media type="youtube" key="QUQo8RQ-LEo" height="548" width="1023" DONT READ THE STUFF AT THE BOTTOM this is my favourite soccer clip. Enjoy! the jokes have been moved down to the end of this page for homework reasons: please calmly scroll down to the jokes, and remember, screaming your head off and setting things on fire won't help.

This is my page! I'm gonna put up some jokes here every now and then check back every few days for a new jokes. Here's my first joke. Two men are in a pub, Ben and Jack. Ben said, I know everyone! Jack said, I bet ten bucks the next person that comes in the pub doesn't know you. The next person that came in said oh, hey Ben. Luck said Jack. I bet that if we go outside that the first person we see won't know you. They walk up to him. He says hey Ben! Jacks mouth drops open. Jack says I bet you don't know the pope and they fly to Rome and go to a tall building. If I come out of that building on the top floor with the pope, you owe me 2000dollars. Ten seconds later, he comes out and waves down for a few seconds at Jack, then sees that's he's fainted. As Jack woke up, Ben said, did you faint because you saw me with the pope? Jack said no, when you were up there with the pope someone walking by said, who's that up there with Ben?

One day two boys were at the zoo.Timmy said, my dads an farmer, what's yours? James said, a lawyer, Timmy said, honest? James said,no the normal kind.

Theory of M&M Evolution Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.

To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger,I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." Thank you for reading.

media type="custom" key="9377848" Hello. If you are reading this then you have 7 days to live unless you post this somewhere. Moral of this story: DONT READ CHAINS! :)